Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Low Point & Support

It's the middle of the week, and I'm at a very low point right now. Cardio was very difficult tonight. I was literally hanging onto the treadmill to keep from falling off. I stumbled around the gym, and cried in between cardio sessions. But I got it done.

Some subtle changes in my diet are really taking their toll on me this week. I know the changes are necessary, but for the first time, I really feel like I'm suffering. I'm struggling to find the energy to get through each day, and to give my all to everything I do, whether it's working on a project at work, holding a conversation with my boyfriend, or pushing through some difficult cardio. I'm desperately clinging to the fact that tomorrow will be my last workout of the week. Friday is an Off Day, and I'm just praying I can stay awake long enough to close the gym where I work on Friday nights.

We took progress pics on Saturday morning before my Treat Meal of sushi (YUM). I think I weighed about 112 lbs in these pics. I'm not absolutely sure, since I didn't weigh myself on Fri or Sat.

I feel like I'm even tighter now than  I  was when these pics were taken, and it's only been a couple days. As I look at these pics, I realize I really need to practice my posing! Posing is tough!! And it's not much fun to practice, but it's absolutely necessary to practice before stepping on stage. I didn't practice enough my first year, and I shook like a leaf on stage cuz I was trying to squeeze my muscles so hard. I was positive the judges could tell I hadn't practiced.

I need to publicly thank my boyfriend for being so supportive and encouraging. He watches me cry nearly every day, and then gives me a pep talk and tells me he's so proud of me. As I write this, he's at his place cooking my ground turkey for the rest of the week. Since we made changes to my diet, I ran out of food mid-week, and he offered to cook more for me tonight. Thank God for him!! I sat down and just cried at the gym when I realized I needed more food and wouldn't be able to get to bed early.

I've always approached my contest prep with an individualistic attitude. I figured it was MY prep, and I didn't need to burden anyone else with it. So I know I can do it by myself. But I have to say ... life is so much better with a strong support system. Jerry believes in me, motivates me, and does everything he can to make my life easier. Every day I thank God that he's in my life.

I've stayed up late enough, and now it's time to try to get some sleep. Hopefully I'll have more energy tomorrow. If not, oh well. I can look forward to Friday! :)

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