Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Cookie Cravings

I'm really craving a cookie right now. I'm only 3.5 weeks out from a show, so I know my diet has to be 100% on point, no treats. Which is probably why I want a cookie. Or it could be the fact that I've been dieting for almost 20 weeks straight. And still have 12 more weeks to go until Team Universe in July. Sigh.

I don't really think it's the 3.5 weeks that bothers me. After that, it's 5 weeks until the Jr Nats when Jerry competes, and then only 3 more weeks after that to Team U. When it's broken down like that, it doesn't seem so bad. But it really hit me this morning when a co-worker asked why I couldn't have "just one m&m" and I told him that I'd be eating turkey and broccoli for 12 more weeks. TWELVE weeks. That's THREE whole months. That's like a lifetime to a little kid! It's the length of a whole summer! Cripes, now I'm really depressed.

Maybe I'd be more enthusiastic if my body were actually responding better this time around. I made the decision not to push myself as hard during training in order to avoid all the asthma attacks. Each time I have an attack, my lung tissue gets a little weaker, and I'm more prone to more attacks more frequently. Vicious cycle! So we've toned down the intensity of my workouts, and it's very clear that my body really needs the higher intensity to burn fat and keep muscle. I'm still at the same weight, so that's not a concern; I just look flat and watery, which IS a concern. The changes we made last week made a difference, but I've plateaued this week. The plateau could also be caused by the fact that I'm female too, so we shall see.

I still want a cookie. I had to return a movie to the grocery store the other day (hooray for Red Box!), and some youth group was having a bake sale outside the entrance. My job turned into a slow saunter as I went by their table, and my mouth automatically started watering. Pretty sure I was literally drooling too. They had my favorites there: sugar cookies with frosting and sprinkles. OMG I just drooled on my keyboard while typing that.

I think I need another piece of gum.

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