Friday, April 23, 2010

Thinking Like a Pro

The leftover cake from yesterday is now sitting out on the counter in the kitchen at work. It was in the refrigerator this morning, which kind of threw me for a loop when I went to put my turkey and broccoli in there. I'm not feeling very strong mentally today, so seeing it was kind of a kick in the teeth. I walked away.

On Fridays since I work at the gym in the evenings, I train a earlier than usual. So I'm spacing my meals out a bit to fit around my training schedule. I've been hungry since 1:45 ... it's now 3 pm, and I'm just starting to eat my meal. I received another shock when I went to get the food to heat it up ... the cake is now sitting out ... cut into nice sized (read: large) pieces ... with its sugary sweetness odor wafting around the kitchen. I bout passed out.

Yes, I stuck my nose about a mm away from it and gave it a good long sniff. Yep, you read that correctly. I sniffed the cake. Then I sniffed another piece. And while I was waiting for my turkey and broccoli to heat up in the microwave, I sniffed the cake again.

This is how I feel today.

In between sniffings, I had a conversation with myself. Here's how it went:

Amateur Kari: There's a little bit of frosting lying on the counter. It won't hurt if you just eat that.

Pro Kari: Eating just that small amount WILL make a difference in my diet.

Amateur Kari: You know if you have just that tiny amount, it's not gonna matter at this point, since you're right on track and have enough time to rectify any damage to your prep schedule.

Pro Kari: I will not stand on stage knowing that I didn't do everything possible to win. What if I don't win the Overall? What if I don't even place? And I could've if I hadn't eaten that frosting?

Amateur Kari: Oh c'mon ... we all know that tiny bit isn't going to be the difference between getting or not getting your NQ.

Pro Kari: But what if it did? How mad at myself and disappointed in myself would I be if I missed the NQ and knew that I'd cheated on my diet? Once I'm in contest prep, I don't cheat.

Amateur Kari: Well, just put a little bit of frosting on your finger and lick it off.

Pro Kari: I'm scared to think that once I had a little taste, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from eating a whole piece.

Amateur Kari: You know you could stop with just a taste.

Pro Kari: I don't even want to chance it.

Random Co-worker: Ooh! Cake! Sugar rush!

Pro Kari: He's knows it's a sugar rush and that he's gonna feel like crap in an hour, but he's still gonna eat it? I'm holding out and staying strong. Food is done. Just walk away.

Seriously, those were almost the exact thoughts that went through my head during the minute my food was heating up. I'm going after my Pro card this year, and I need to think like a Pro. I can't let a little thing like a craving for cake to throw me off track. I've come this far. I've dieted for 20 weeks. I have a show in 3 weeks that I need to WIN.

I walked away from the cake. And now when I'm standing on stage receiving the Overall trophy, I'll know that I deserve it because I stayed on track even when my mind tried to take over and deter me from my goals.

No comments:

Post a Comment