Monday, April 19, 2010

Virtual Attacks

I'm sitting at my desk at work, struggling not to cry right now. I hate crying at all, especially at work. But I'm really upset right now, and so disappointed with some recent events. Jerry was hurt today, and for no good reason at all. No, the attack wasn't physical - if it were, he could've defended himself much more efficiently and quickly than with a verbal assault. But alas, the Internet is a virtual world where fights and disagreements are handled in online forums.

In one of the forums I belong to (which, up until now, was my favorite one and the place where I felt most comfortable), Jerry offered some opinions and knowledge. He'll be the first to admit that he's a bit rough around the edges, but there's no disputing he knows his stuff when it comes to training and nutrition. The long and short of it is that he offered his opinion and knowledge, was unreasonably attacked, and he responded in kind. What started out as a respectful discussion turned really ugly really fast.

I'm no stranger to forums, and I understand how things can get misinterpreted and misread. I also understand that a lot of people have a false bravado behind the keyboard, and forums can spawn some ugly nastiness. Usually I try to stay out of arguments, mainly because I feel they're a waste of my time and energy, and I'd rather focus on my own real-life situations. Even when Jerry get into an argument (and believe me, he's not scared to stand his ground or to fight for what he believes in - that's actually one of the many things I admire about him), I try to stay out of it. Until he gets unjustifiably attacked. And then I step in.

I stepped in once today, calling someone on what I felt was a cruel, unnecessary remark about Jerry's physique (which was completely off-topic, by the way!). But when multiple people starting jumping the bandwagon to attack him, I couldn't take it anymore.

I'm no longer a part of that board; I wrote a good-bye post. It wasn't a decision I made lightly, but I cannot be a part of a place that lets brutal, unjustified attacks happen. I'm upset it had to come to this, and most of all, I feel awful for my boyfriend. I know he's very hurt and upset right now, and doesn't need the added stress in his life.

He and I are both only 4 weeks out from a show, and we're both barely functioning day-to-day as it is. We're both overly critical of our bodies, and are stressing about everything from diet to cardio to training. The last thing we need is to deal with some angry people in a forum who attack without any justification or provocation.

I'm sad that I needed to leave that forum, because I met some really great people there! And I hope to continue to remain in touch with those people (cuz hopefully they're reading this right now! ;) ). But I just can't remain at a place that allows others to be so cruel to someone I love.

So we're going to continue to focus on building M3World to be a POSITIVE, INVITING, and NON-THREATENING place for people to go to. We're proud of what we're building, and hope we can provide a place where incidents like what happened today never happens.

3 comments:

  1. Aw man! I didn't see the thread in question but I'm SO SORRY that happened. I hope he's able to let the drama roll off his back ducky style and keep focused on prepping for the comp. Good luck to you both, and boy am I glad I've started stalking you here since I won't be seeing you there anymore.

    XO
    Dani

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Kari!!! I read the entire thread and def. thought some of the comments were absolutely unnecessary. I dont know the entire history and I don't want to get into it but I know this is not be the first time that people have gone back and forth with Jerry there. Then in came Jerry's reply...it didn't help any. I am so sorry to see you leave. I love SC and it's my favorite board too and i will miss you greatly there but we have blogger, and FB, and hopefully real life <3 too.

    I can understand you are upset and I would be too. I think sometimes things get taken out of context but there were things on there that COULDN"T be taken wrong (posting of his pic). I hope you will consider coming back one day. I hat the fact that we are losing you for a few nasty comments from a small minority. :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for your support, ladies! I really appreciate it and hope to see you at our our M3World site (http://m3world.ning.com/) too! ;) Jerry and I just upgraded it not too long ago, and are slowly building it up with great people who show support like a family. What happened on SC was exactly why the original M3 was created over a year ago - and it has worked out really well! Keep in touch! :)

    ReplyDelete