Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Trying to Find the Sunshine

This week I seem to be struggling with pre-contest blues. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the diet, maybe it's hormones, maybe it's a combination of things. The weather's been mostly grey, overcast, and rainy, which always seems to drag me down. After a fun, relaxing weekend, I was ready to start the week off on a happy note. And then I tried to train legs heavy on Monday evening.

Unfortunately for my training schedule, I need to train after work, which is usually when I feel most down and sluggish. I took a couple extra stims to help push me through my workout, and instead of firing me up, they seemed to almost drag me down and make me feel angry. Jerry had me try my legs in a different position on the leg press, which terrified me more than I let on. I'm absolutely terrified of the leg press because of my ongoing battle with knee pain. I'm so scared one of my knees will give out mid-press, and the weight will fall on me. I have the safety pegs set high enough, but I'm still scared of it. Usually my feet are positioned high on the platform, so the brunt of the weight is on my glutes and hamstrings instead of my quads, but we tried it the more traditional ways on Monday. I pushed through it as best I could, but I was battling tears the entire time.

Smith machine squats were next, and I swear, even the bar felt heavy! :( I felt really weak, and wasn't able to use as much weight as I've been using the past few weeks. And after each set, I struggled to control my breathing to avoid an asthma attack. Battled tears again.

I did a couple other exercises, and everything just felt heavy. I was close to tears the entire time, and so frustrated. I felt a little better after cardio, but still disappointed with the workout.

Trying to look on the bright side of things, I keep reminding myself that it's normal and natural to lose strength during contest prep. Before each show, my strength decreases, and to balance that out, we usually decrease the weight and increase the reps. This time we're not doing that, and I'm still trying very hard to push heavy (for me) weight. I still believe it's the best approach for this show, but am having difficulties adjusting my mindset.

Yesterday's workout went slightly better, but I got stuck once during incline chest press. Luckily, Jerry was there spotting me, and just lifted the bar up when I continued to hold it in a lowered position. Today is a cardio-only day, so hopefully my body will recharge and re-energize for a great workout tomorrow. And hopefully the sun will finally make an appearance sometime this week too!

Only 3.5 more weeks to go!


  1. Your strength and determination continues to amaze me. You are doing such a great job and I haven't heard a lot about girls doing competitions back to back like you have. This is your 3rd in five months...totally amazing!
    I am here cheering you on to the finish!!

  2. Aww ((((((BIIIIG HUGGG)))))) You're a strong and tough cookie. Throwing some sunshine atcha! Feel GOOD. You're so freaking amazing!

  3. Thanks for the happy thoughts, ladies! I really appreciate it, and it means a lot to me. :)