Monday, August 2, 2010

Fitting Room Fiasco

Just when I was starting to feel better about myself ... thinking I was looking leaner and tighter ... I had to go shopping and try on clothes. Why do I do things to torture myself?! *banging head on keyboard

Even though we're both on a limited budget, Jerry and I decided to spend a rainy Sunday at the mall yesterday. We were both having a fabulous time until I decided to try some clothes on at Bebe and Arden B. And then the fun ended.

The sizes I normally wear either didn't fit or made me look like an overstuffed sausage a la Mariah Carey. At one point, I think I embarrassed Jerry when, after attempting to squeeze my thighs into a pencil shirt, Jerry asked if I wanted a bigger size and I shrieked (rather loudly), "NO! Are you suggesting I'm FAT?!" Then, momentarily blinded by tears, I ran back into the fitting room. Poor guy. Really, I feel bad. He was just trying to help. (I apologized to him a minute later.)

It was a real eye-opener to discover that even though I still have quad & ab lines, I'm still not wearing smaller sizes. I apparently put on some muscle this year, and while I'm the same weight I usually am off-season, I'm leaner than I've ever been. That should make me feel good ... and it does ... for the most part. But in a very female way, it's still depressing to be wearing larger clothes.

I worked hard for that muscle, and I realized I don't want to lose it. I was in limbo about whether or not I wanted to lose some muscle. I finally realized I don't want to lose the muscle; I just want to be leaner in the off-season. Although I don't know what that means for my competition career, I do know that it'll make me feel more at peace with myself.

So I hauled myself out of bed this morning and put in 30 minutes of intervals on the treadmill. I enjoyed some treats this weekend and am back to eating clean today. I'm looking forward to putting the weekend carbs to good use during Leg Day at the gym today!


  1. I have been avoiding shopping for that very reason. I know I won't be able to fit into my clothes unless I lose about 6 more pounds. I gained some muscle over the past 6 months butI never lost the fat on top of it. Thus, I am larger. But, I have started working with a trainer now so that should help. I was at the point where I didn't care if I lost muscle I just wanted to get back in my pants :( But, I don't compete...yet. Plus I am not NEAR your level of fitness

  2. Girl, get over the damn numbers! Clothing sizes are ridiculously arbitrary, and can shift within the same store from item to item and from season to season. If you were FEELING better, and leaner and tighter, than YOU ARE. Period.


  3. I can totally relate. I caught a really good sale on American Eagle jeans and bought 4 pairs the beginning of this year. Needless to say they don't fit now and I hate to go shopping for pants because they don't fit my booty and thighs right but I have a small waist. We need to start a clothing line made for fit chics who have muscle so we don't get discouraged with how we look!

  4. I totally agree about a (inexpensive) clothing line for fit girls! There are a couple companies that make flattering clothes, but they're super expensive. And don't get me started about this whole "skinny jeans" and "jeggings" trend! Grr LOL