Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Need vs. Want

I just had a startling realization this afternoon ... J and I won't be able to go out to eat for at least 20 weeks, maybe more if he decides to compete this year! That's 5 whole MONTHS!

I had a moment of panic when this thought crossed my mind. Frantically, I contacted J, and he confirmed it.


I took a minute to throw myself a mini pity party, and then reminded myself that I have a goal. A goal bigger, more wildly audacious, than anything I've ever set for myself. A goal that even I'm not sure I can achieve (although I keep telling myself I can in hopes that maybe someday I'll believe it ... and hey, fake it till ya make it, right?).

I also reminded myself that I made a pledge to myself that I will do everything I can do in order to achieve my goal. This means traveling very little, if at all, refraining from going out to eat, and eating fish during prep. These items may not seem like a big deal for some people, but they're huge mental issues for me.

I love to travel, plus my family lives in another state, so I need to deal with the fact that the duration between visits may be longer than usual. I also need to tell myself that it's ok to be homebodies more than usual until we're finished competing. We don't NEED to travel; it's just something I LIKE to do.

I also LIKE to go out to eat. But really? My body doesn't need that food. I'll be feeding it much healthier food during prep anyway. Going out for sushi or pancakes isn't something I NEED to do. (Mmm ... OHP)

I do, however, NEED to eat fish during prep. (I just gagged when I wrote that sentence.) I don't like fish. It stinks, and the fishy taste never goes away, regardless of how it's cooked or seasoned. But I've already resigned myself to including it in my diet this year because it's an excellent source of lean protein. (Just gagged again.)

I realize that some women do an excellent job of balancing career, family, kids, and friends while they're prepping, and I fully admire and commend them. But I have no intention of balancing anything other than my career (need to pay the bills, after all) during prep this year, because when I stand on stage at Team Universe in July, I want to be able to say to myself that I did absolutely everything I could possibly do to bring my best conditioning to the stage. I want to be absolutely positive that I gave 100% effort and focus during prep and didn't cut any corners or take any shortcuts.

And if that means not going out to eat for awhile, I guess I can handle that.


  1. Isn't it funny how we feel that we NEED to go out to eat. I am the same way. I enjoy eating out with my family too. It is just a mindset and you know that more than anyone. You will make it and you will totally live without the eating out and you will be so glad you did when you step on stage knowing you gave your prep your 100% effort. Can't wait to see what the next 5 months holds for you.

  2. Good for you! I'm about to start my first competition diet for my first competition ever, the whole idea is, well, scary. I can completely appreciate your nerves as well as your sacrifices for what you want. :) And deserve!

  3. Thanks for the support ladies!

    Elle - when and where is your show? How exciting!

  4. I just started my first competition diet, so the not eating out part will be rough (I live in NYC with a restaurant on every corner)...

    Stay strong! You can do it!

  5. I hear ya on the fish. I hate it too. But I shovel it down during prep because, hey, that's how we do right? If that's what it takes...
    If you find a good way to prep it, let me know!

    Oh, and thanks for the link to OHP! Thank goodness I'm not dieting right now or I would've started crying:)

  6. Sorry...I like fish and I also don't like eating out. However, I have my food demons (bad one's)! I just found your blog and am anxious to follow you on your journey.

    Good luck to you - you can do it!


  7. I hear ya on the fish. I was a strict vegetarian for 9 years and just started eating seafood. I now love it, but it took some time to get used to.