I had a moment of panic when this thought crossed my mind. Frantically, I contacted J, and he confirmed it.
I took a minute to throw myself a mini pity party, and then reminded myself that I have a goal. A goal bigger, more wildly audacious, than anything I've ever set for myself. A goal that even I'm not sure I can achieve (although I keep telling myself I can in hopes that maybe someday I'll believe it ... and hey, fake it till ya make it, right?).
I also reminded myself that I made a pledge to myself that I will do everything I can do in order to achieve my goal. This means traveling very little, if at all, refraining from going out to eat, and eating fish
I love to travel, plus my family lives in another state, so I need to deal with the fact that the duration between visits may be longer than usual. I also need to tell myself that it's ok to be homebodies more than usual until we're finished competing. We don't NEED to travel; it's just something I LIKE to do.
I also LIKE to go out to eat. But really? My body doesn't need that food. I'll be feeding it much healthier food during prep anyway. Going out for sushi or pancakes isn't something I NEED to do. (Mmm ... OHP)
I do, however, NEED to eat fish during prep. (I just gagged when I wrote that sentence.) I don't like fish. It stinks, and the fishy taste never goes away, regardless of how it's cooked or seasoned. But I've already resigned myself to including it in my diet this year because it's an excellent source of lean protein. (Just gagged again.)
I realize that some women do an excellent job of balancing career, family, kids, and friends while they're prepping, and I fully admire and commend them. But I have no intention of balancing anything other than my career (need to pay the bills, after all) during prep this year, because when I stand on stage at Team Universe in July, I want to be able to say to myself that I did absolutely everything I could possibly do to bring my best conditioning to the stage. I want to be absolutely positive that I gave 100% effort and focus during prep and didn't cut any corners or take any shortcuts.
And if that means not going out to eat for awhile, I guess I can handle that.