Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I Don't Share My Food

Although I still have the Minnesota tendency of beating around the bush instead of being straight-forward about most things, there's one thing I have no qualms about sharing with people.

I don't share my food.

Ever. For any reason. Doesn't matter if you're two years old and as cute as a button, get your fingers away from my cookies!

All mine! But I'm more than happy to bake you your very own batch!
Some people may find it offensive that I declare this so openly; however, I always follow up with, "But I'm more than happy to buy you your OWN food." And that's true! I will happily buy you your very own chocolate chip cookie or egg white omelet or Twix bar ... but you can not have even a taste of mine.

J finds this hilarious, as I'm a total hypocrite and always want just a "tiny lil taste" of his food. That's because his food ALWAYS looks better than mine! Whether he's dieting or not, I always want to know what his food tastes like, but I freak out like a banshee if he even comes closer than two feet away from my food. I realize this doesn't make any sense, so I'm not offended when he declines to let me taste his oatmeal.

Even my two cutest nephews in the world aren't immune from this. I'm not okay with JJ dipping his fingers into Auntie Kari's sweet potato pancakes, but I will gladly make him his very own pancake.

The same mentality applies to Girl Scout cookies. When it comes time to order cookies every January, I ask J which cookies he wants, and the answer, "Oh, I'll just have some of yours" doesn't fly. I ask him specifically which cookies he wants and how many boxes he wants, because once his are gone, my 20 boxes of cookies will still be off-limits to him. It's not my problem that he ate 18 Samoas in one sitting and now has no cookies left. I will gladly buy him 15 boxes of Samoas, as long as he doesn't swipe any of mine.

Samoas are not for sharing.
I have no idea what prompted this mentality, and quite frankly, I really don't care. It's just how I feel. So I make up for being selfish about my food by being generous and buying other people their very own food. That's fair, right? ;)

Do you share your food? Do you expect others to share their food with you? Do you get offended when someone doesn't share their food with you?


  1. Totally fair!
    I think that now that I am on a road to competition that I have become more possessive of my food, lol. I think because it's measured out and I only have so much "allotted" to me that I'm not as eager to share as I used to be, even with my husband. =)

  2. OMG I love you so much. I just love people that have the "this is how I am, and I don't care" mentality.
    I will share my food when I'm not on prep... because typically I don't mind sharing. And I don't get offended when others won't share, but I typically don't ask for others' food. However, when I'm on prep and only get a certain amount of food... you had BETTER keep your fingers off my freaking cucumber slices. I NEED THEM. :)

  3. HAA!! I love it. Please dont ever change!

    I tell John he can't try whatever I'm eating, and he just shrugs cuz he knows I wont finish it and will end up pushing the plate over to him in a minute anyway.

    I'm usually happy to let someone try something from my plate, BUT, I need to use MY fork and give them the amount I want them to have. Is that bad?

    The only thing I truly don't share with people is oreos. I used to get REALLY pissed when my little brother would eat them.

  4. HILARIOUS. I will share... but only if I feel like I have to and I don't do it nicely. I huff... and puff... and sulk ;) I love this post.

  5. ha ha ha! LOVE it!!!!!
    you are awesome!
    i dont share my food either--in the regards that i dont eat or drink after anyone and they better not eat or drink after me.
    i dont even share my food with my kids...
    unless they ask for a bite BEFORE i take a bite-then i glady share from my plate....
    i dont mind sharing so much when i can divide things up and know the portions...now during prep,um yeah,stay away from my food cause i need every bite!

  6. I do not share. Nope, not at all. I have trained my hubby to come ask me about food now. A common event in our house is for him to pull something out of the fridge and ask, 'Is this your's or our's?' Don't you love how all the food is mine, but SOME of MAY be consumed by him. hah!

  7. Haha! Well if my food is in perfectly measured out portions, I certainly won't be sharing! But if my husband and I go out to eat somewhere I alwayssss want a taste of his food, but he never seems to want a bite of mine! His loss :)

  8. As i read this post my mouth dropped open because I swear I use the exact same words when I explain this to ppl. "I don't share. I rather buy you your own food." "Do you want some??? Let me know because you still have time for me to buy you some but you can't have any of mine!" If I'm strictly dieting and share my macros will be off (like if I share 1 oz of my chicken breast and remain with just one 4 oz that just will not cut it!). And if I'm having a cheat meal, I dont have it often so, no, I'm not sharing. I absolutely loved this post and am so glad I'm not the only one that refuses to share her food even with my own 6 year old niece!

  9. LOL!!! This post is so frickin' awesome!!!

    I do not share...not even with my own child...sorry if that makes me a bad mother ;)